menopause
menopause
Javier Zayas Photography//Getty Images

Dear Partner,

I am writing to you because it’s time for us to take a trip to the mini med school that is menopause. Sometimes it may seem like the woman you’ve known all these years is gone, or changed into someone totally unfamiliar. I get it. Sometimes I feel the same way. I’ve never gone through menopause before, and since it can be different for every woman, I have no idea what to expect. Some days I feel like I’m going to get through it no problem, and other days, I feel...well, like I won’t.

Put simply, I feel like I’m springing leaks of symptoms from literally all angles. One day it might be my mood, mind, memory, or ability to focus. I’ve been feeling more stress, anxiety, and moodiness than I did when I was a teenager. The next day, my symptoms travel down my body and may involve breast tenderness, bloating, midsection weight gain (even though I haven’t changed what I am eating), fatigue, irregular bleeding, hot flashes, and what feels like the ultimate insult—vaginal dryness. Between tender breasts, a bloated belly, and a dry vagina, can you understand why I may not be in the mood for sex?

I want my old self back. I want my “old,” younger vagina back! Part of me is afraid that the premenopausal me may be gone forever, and that I may not like the postmenopausal me—and that you may not like her, either. It can be overwhelming.

Part of me is afraid that the premenopausal me may be gone forever.

The thing about menopause is that it’s not just about the physical or psychological changes—though those certainly aren’t a walk in the park. Society has a stigma against many things pertaining to women, and this is no different. When a man ages, he becomes more distinguished. When a woman ages, she is “past her prime” or seen as less relevant. In the past, even the medical community turned its back on us when we needed them most. Thankfully, that is changing. Doctors are listening and helping, and you can, too.

It won’t always be this way; I know I will come out of this stage and be better than ever. For now, I ask you to understand that some of these hormonal changes are tough—just like they can be tough during puberty or during and after pregnancy. I will get through it. We will get through it. And by the way, if manopause were a thing, I’d totally be there for you, too.

More From Oprah Daily
 
preview for Oprah Daily US - Your Best Life Playlist

Any content published by Oprah Daily is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be regarded as a substitute for professional guidance from your healthcare provider.

Dr. Jennifer Ashton is the chief medical correspondent for ABC News and the first ob-gyn to ever hold this position in national network news media. She is the cohost of GMA3: What You Need to Know on ABC. In 2016, she was named the first-ever chief women’s health correspondent for ABC News, in addition to being the ABC News senior medical contributor. She is a board-certified ob-gyn, a fellow of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, and is also board-certified in obesity medicine. Follow Dr. Ashton on social media @drjashton.


In a refreshingly candid conversation with Oprah Daily Insiders, Oprah, Maria Shriver, Drew Barrymore, and doctors Sharon Malone, Heather Hirsch, and Judith Joseph, we set the record straight on all things menopause. Become an Oprah Daily Insider now to get access to this conversation and the full “The Life You Want” Class library.